I wish. If I were a librarian I’d never shut up about it. I’d be telling people on street corners everywhere.
Picture me: thumbs in belt loops, chest puffed, hollering, "I HELP PEOPLE KNOW THINGS. I SHAPE CHILDREN FROM SMALL SOCIOPATHS INTO GENEROUS MARVELOUS HUMAN BEINGS. I TOUCH ALL THE BOOKS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BORROW THIS TINY GOLF PENCIL."
And then I’d point laser fingers at everyone for good measure and saunter off up the street to thunderous applause.